I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
