Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize