Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
