Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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