Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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