You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
