john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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