I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize