Will you blow on my dice?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
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