You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
