no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize