goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
