This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
