Having a random hookup so left but love u
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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