I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
