i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
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