i jhust puked up my retainher.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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