no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
