I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize