And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
