Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
