Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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