her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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