ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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