I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
