just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
