Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
