OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
