dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
