Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
