OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
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