You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
