I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
