Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
