I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
