I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
