You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
