i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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