Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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