We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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