Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
