Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
