if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
