I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
