Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
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a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
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Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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