What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
