There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
