I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
