This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
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i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
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I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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