I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Randomize
