peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize