I feel like abortions should bother me more
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize