a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize