So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
