why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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