we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
