Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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