There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
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Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
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They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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