You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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