How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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