That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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