u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
